Values are your internal compass – they shape every decision, whether you realize it or not. But, we aren’t always aware of the values guiding us. In my work with clients, it’s common for them to discover they’ve been making choices based on values that don’t truly reflect who they are.
Over time, our compass can miscalibrate, due to fear-based values quietly taking the lead. For example, people-pleasing decisions may seem like kindness, but underneath, there could be a quiet attachment to belonging, approval, or keeping the peace. Fear-based values aren’t an expression of your authentic self – they’re survival strategies meant to protect you from pain, discomfort, or rejection. They may have once served a purpose, but continuing to honor them can slowly pull you further away from the life you truly want to create.
Why Understanding Your Values Matters
When someone feels overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure of their next step, it’s often because they’re disconnected from their core values. Without that internal clarity, decision-making becomes confusing or exhausting.
So how do you recalibrate your internal compass?
One powerful way is by reflecting on your past, present, and future:
- Past: Choices or moments you’re proud of reveal when your values were being honored. Situations you’d handle differently show when you compromised values you consider important today.
- Present: Identify which areas of your life feel aligned, as they’re likely in harmony with your values. Areas that feel misaligned may signal where your values are being overlooked.
- Future: Envision who you want to be and what you want to experience. Our dreams are a reflection of what matters most to us.
As you explore these layers of your life, patterns emerge. The themes that give you a sense of aliveness are your core values. These are your true compass, guiding you to make choices with clarity, confidence, and courage.
When you begin living from this place, your life will feel more intentional, authentic, peaceful, and aligned with who you really are.
How to Use These Prompts
Set aside some quiet, uninterrupted time for your reflection – ideally in a space that is calming and free from distractions. I recommend using a pen and paper rather than typing, as handwriting is shown to support cognitive and emotional processing.
Before answering the prompts, consider centering yourself with breathwork or a quick meditation. This helps you shift into a more mindful state, making it easier to access your thoughts, emotions, and inner truth.
There’s no “right” way to answer these questions. Give yourself permission to explore them honestly, without judgment or censorship. This exercise is meant to increase your self-awareness and connection to self!
7 Journal Prompts to Clarify Your Values
- What choices in life are you most proud of? What do they say about what matters to you?
- What choices do you wish you’d navigated differently? How do these experiences highlight what’s important to you now?
- Where in your life do you feel most aligned? What’s being honored or expressed there?
- What would you love for others to say about how you lived and what you stood for?
- What’s one thing (big or small) you’d love to experience or accomplish in your lifetime? Why would it matter to you?
- When you make tough choices, what helps you decide what’s right for you?
- If you could focus your energy on anything, what would that be? What does that say about what matters to you most?
Your Next Steps
Based on your responses to the prompts above, identify your top 3-5 values and define what each one means to you. Keep these values visible as daily reminders of your true compass – this could look like a Post-it on your mirror, a phone wallpaper, or affirmation statements placed where you’ll see them often.
When you’re faced with a challenging decision, be sure to pause and ask yourself: “Which choice aligns most with my core values?”
This simple practice helps you move through uncertainty with greater clarity, confidence, and integrity.
To dive deeper into understanding your core values, download my free Values Discovery Workbook, or schedule a clarity call to explore this further in coaching.
In the wise words of Stephen Covey, “peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and values, and in no other way.”